Mama vs. RLP

I get a letter in the mail from my refrigerator company saying that the fridge we bought 8 years ago "COULD BE" a fire hazard. I call to determine if our fridge is in the list of recalls. I go through the automated service to discover that yes, yes it is.

Over the course of the next 15 minutes, I get to chat with a fake computer service woman, she understands me perfectly fine. I get to the point on the phone with her where I am to schedule my appointment... all of the sudden, my friend malfunctions. She hears May 9 instead of May 5 and Saturday instead of Tuesday. She gives up on me and transfers me to a real-live-person (RLP).

I could tell from the "hello" that my RLP was NOT having a good day. I spent the next 5 minutes telling her my serial #, my model # and that I needed to schedule an appointment.
She asks me what day I would like to have someone come out. I proceed with my first choice, Tuesday? nope. Monday? nope. Wednesday maybe in the afternoon? This was RLP's response:

Ma'am. It doesn't work that way. When you schedule an appointment, you have to be available from 8am until 5pm.

Can I have my computer friend back?

Okay. I was trying to find a needle in a haystack schedule a service day, and I had already been on the phone for 25 minutes, dinner was on the table (family waiting on Mama), and RLP was cranky...I lost it and gave her this response (in a super-nice-matter-of-fact voice):

So, you send me a letter stating that my fridge is a major fire hazard and could burn my house down at any second, then you can't get anyone out here in a decent time frame to fix it?

She transferred me to a "specialist". I listened to horrible elevator music for about 8 minutes then realized she had transferred me to the special phone line that never gets answered again. I don't blame her and I'm not proud of my "tone" with her but, seriously.

A kindergartner was practicing spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator, in his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" with a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" his mom praised him. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight. " Mom happily thought that her son's Christian education was certainly having an impact. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen: "Mom? How do you spell 'zilla'? "

(no, we don't have a pink fridge but, isn't it purdy?)