time & being needy.

So, I'm driving to church this mornin'. Leaving my family and a very HOT house behind, to serve in the children's program. As I'm driving down the back roads in my air conditioned, grocery-go-getter (that's our van) my mind starts to wander. I start to tune out the worship songs on the radio and I begin to pray; just asking God to prepare my heart for serving Him and that the children in my class would be blessed. Guess what, the Lord spoke to my heart. It wasn't an audible voice, but it was Him placing thoughts in my mind (that's the only way I can describe it). Here's the gist of things...

As a believer, it is so important how we spend our time. I'm not talking about the occasional ministry at church or helping out a local organization. I'm talking about every single day, every single moment. We impact the world around us with every choice. I choose to have joy or I choose to be negative. I choose to serve or be served. I can choose to sit on the computer and "zone out" or I can spend that time reading a book to my children. See what I'm saying?

I barely had time to process what God was saying to me when He planted something else in my mind. I'm not even sure how my thinking transitioned but, here's the next thing the Lord laid on my heart...

I need to be needy. You're probably saying to yourself,
what? No one wants to be needy!
(that's what I said too)

I realized that in general, I'm not a needy person. I have some things in my life that I do want approval & acceptance for but, I do not depend on those things for my survival. I want independence, my own identity, and freedom from insecurity. What dawned on me is that I must rely on the Lord. I must NEED Him. I need Him for guidance, protection, love, security, comfort, peace, and I could on and on. I have a challenge ahead of me, I have to retrain myself to NEED the Lord. In this world, I feel I have to prove that I am strong and independent. That I can take of my children on my own, that I can handle anything that comes my way. Anyone else have these thoughts? What I have to allow God to teach me is that I NEED Him. YIPPEE!!!! I get to grow... the Lord is molding me into who He wants me to be. Its scary moving into a new lesson from the Lord but, I must go to grow. I like that!

Alright, I get to church and I'm asked to serve in the 2 year old class. About a year ago my response would have been, "I have twin 2 year olds at home , the last place I want to be is in a room full of toddlers!" Now, when I show up to church, I simply say, "Wherever you need me." I let God chose for me and serving has become a blessing instead of an obligation.

Thanks for hanging in there this far...I'm about to finish up.

So, I get in my car to head home. A Pastor from a church down in Eugene (I think he said First Baptist?) was on the radio. He was talking about serving! Yeah, the Lord was gonna finish His conversation with me on the way home, LOL. This Pastor was talking about serving in church, is it an obligation or a vision? He used ships as an example... the Queen Mary 2 and a the battleship New Jersey. You go on the QM2 to be pampered, served, and relax...selfish time. When you look at the battleship, it has a purpose, everyone has a job that must be done in order for the whole ship to move... selfless time. When I go to church do I see it as a place to fill my needs, or do I go there ready to meet others needs? I wish I had a link to that sermon, it was awesome.

Okay, one more thing... I got home and had a chance to check my blog, I was introduced to this photographer ERIN. You have to see this organization she has founded... ACPCG. amazing.

Thanks for reading what the Lord has taught me today. I think it is so cool that the Lord can teach me such HUGE lessons in a 10 minute drive!!! He minsitered to my heart even though I didn't actually sit and listen to a sermon.

I hope your Sunday is blessed and may you see your opportunities to help others.